Career decisions ain't easy.

I was placed in a  position where I would have to  lead teams to shift a company direction and bring it forward and this came in a total overwhelming decision for me. Taking it positively was difficult and making it negative was way easier but somehow even though with the huge responsibility on my shoulder it made me work quicker. Weird but I couldn't digest myself and with energy shifting into a unstable place, meditation and exercising took place. 

Did it help? A little but I was still worked up. I understood why I didn't want the position but it left me being annoyed with myself on limiting my motivation to scale in my career. Perhaps I was already in that position and my ego is telling me I don't need it now because I need to focus on my career goals ( which it to be more of a specialist in my current work area )  as well as my personal plans when it comes to family, my relationship, travels, money, etc.. 

When it is all planned out so well and everything shifts due to a may or may not be an unavoidable reason, the shift in that decision was like there was an earthquake remote on my shoes and every single time I walk my world was breaking to pieces. Dramatic? I protest. 

*Thank God I have a partner who is constantly cheerful when I create bloody dramas in my own head. Sending me weird videos and cat pictures every single time I am emotional to make me happy. Maybe I should work in the F&B business instead. Wait no, there is more shit there.. hahaha. 

*Thank God I have a partner who is constantly cheerful when I create bloody dramas in my own head. Sending me weird videos and cat pictures every single time I am emotional to make me happy. Maybe I should work in the F&B business instead. Wait no, there is more shit there.. hahaha. 

So now what do I do about it? Talking it out with management was on the table and it was dealt with but surprisingly my energy is still shaking and moods have been twirling. More meditation and exercising? Perhaps. Finding the right decision is difficult when I thought I found the perfect career decision before this whirlwind.

I have to make a decision again today and if I do i have to shift my plannings for next year ( I don't know how when I already made 4 big travel plans for next year and paying mortgage is a bummer to anyone's bank). This is what it feels like to be a grown up kids.

It fucking sucks. 

*Be positive*

Thursday mood at work : non-productive.
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Today has been non productive for me at work with me spending my entire morning reading articles on digital marketing in 2018 ( if you are interested, a good read on what to expecT in digital marketing landscape here:How Digital Marketing Landscape Transformed in 2017 & What to Expect in 2018 ) and thinking what to eat for lunch. Then I continued my day with more article reading on topics regarding social media and game changing apps ( I see none worth sharing). Then it hit me about an hour ago on how much I miss my cats especially Porter which is the youngest and I feel like I should care more for him compared to the rest since he is blind in one eye but I know every time I see him he is the craziest out of the lot! Jumping on cabinets and the bigger cats and the loudest meows ever.

I wonder what it is doing right now.. probably asking his dad for more food. 

Oh yeah and now work is over and I am going to meet my girlfriends for dinner. It was clearly a non productive paid work day - horrible, I know. I will work smarter tomorrow. 

Pray for me. and my company. LOL.

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I am a fan of Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's love!

This might be quite random but I was gushing all over the internet yesterday when Prince Harry and Meghan made it official to us royal fans about the proposal. After months of National Enquirer & Hello scandalous news that I please myself with ( even though I know 99% percent of those stories is not true... like come on Meghan preggers months ago?) it is now all out in open and I can't wait for their marriage.

I just love stories of people being in love, falling in love, how the made it through love. Don't get me wrong, I can connect with people who broke out love, why they could not make me work and why they had to break it off since we all been through that but love is just beautiful and it gives you amazing endorphin - okay maybe just me - to just believe in the beauty of living all over again.

I think it is a little weird for me when I am not a fan romantic books nor romantic movies as they are just made up dramas in a writer's head but when it's 100% a "real" love story, you feel somehow connected don't you think?

Anyway, enough of me falling in love with their love story, do you even care about the royal family? 

Watch the really cute video of their interview below!

Visual Diary : Restoran Ruby / cheapest banana leaf in KL / cats!
Here is a visual diary of one of the weekends in KL with my partner and the kids (the cats of course! ). We went to have peanut and red bean soup at Restoran Red Ruby which was authentically pretty good, beef noodle recommended by a friend of my partner near central market... which is just okay ( I tasted better) and if you are ever in Sunway Velocity, head over to Makan Makan by Parkson where you will get the cheapest banana leaf ever in KL and the chicken curry is bloody delicious. 

Here is a visual diary of one of the weekends in KL with my partner and the kids (the cats of course! ). We went to have peanut and red bean soup at Restoran Red Ruby which was authentically pretty good, beef noodle recommended by a friend of my partner near central market... which is just okay ( I tasted better) and if you are ever in Sunway Velocity, head over to Makan Makan by Parkson where you will get the cheapest banana leaf ever in KL and the chicken curry is bloody delicious. 

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WHY I QUIT/ TEMPORARILY DISABLED MY INSTAGRAM.
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So many of you may not know that I specialise in digital marketing as a whole. From advertising, SEO, SEM , branding and social media. I never was a specialist until a few years ago but how I got to where I am will be a different post. So, since social media is a part of my job scope, perhaps you can understand how weird it is for me to quit or should I say "temporarily disable" my Instagram account. 

I LOVE ANYTHING TECH. I love keeping up on what's new, upgrades and startups that failed and since social media is a big game player in digital marketing it made me be a part of it, subconsciously. If you read my last post, I wrote on how I was not okay and perhaps currently I am still crossing the bridge to a better self. 

So yesterday, after having my morning filled with occupied thoughts about how I feel, where I am, my past, my trouble, my happiness and my work - and I even tried meditating - I felt a lot more of frustration when my habit of opening the Instagram app when I have the extra time ( comment below if you have this unconscious habit as well ) scrolling through my Instagram feed. Not like in a hulk - angry way or crying while scrolling, but more of a dissatisfied-self. I didn't understand my thought process so I broke it down and it lead me to two main reasons:

1) Virtual distance.

Instead of making me feel closer to my friends, with me hearting their posts, commenting on their pictures - I felt more distant from them more than ever. I don't even message these people now on whatsapp or give them a call to truly ask how they are. It feel like I am a troll from heaven ( because I don't say mean things on the internet, lol ) and these were real friends back then where I used to meet up. But now they are just a "hello" and "lets take a picture for instagram" when i meet them at events / by coincidence. When I do meet them  we seem to know about each other so well because of the images on Instagram, but where is the depth of friendship in that? Yes - it is sad truth. Somehow my friends has became acquaintances and mending it is difficult since I don't feel the connection anymore. 

2) Curated lies.

As I am a digital specialist, I know the in-depth marketing push that goes around SM. A few months ago, one by one, the curated images on my instagram feed began to be questionable for me. Are those travel/ food images used for the purpose of sharing / ad ( honestly I get lied to by so many instagrammers when they say food /coffee is so fucking good because they are paid for it and when I get there is like do you even know how to cook bro? ). Is the KOL that I follow posting this to promote their own brand or is it really good when they don't hashtag #ad? Am I blindsided by the fame, social status, money, beauty of the curated lies?

The two reasons above have made me feel a little more lonelier and honestly I should have quite Instagram earlier because this unconscious habit that was blocking my inner peace mentally has now been lifted off. 

I am not sure whether I will be enabling my personal account but definitely not anytime soon. On another note, I know all the above is all my own doing -mentally and I still think Instagram is an amazing tool for business so don't think I am saying that Instagram is the devil. 

If you are reading this because you are not sure of quitting Instagram or not my advice is, if you are actually thinking about this matter, there is a negative energy that has surfaced in you regarding the social mechanics of the app. Take a break and temporarily disable your account. Just like me, if one day you wake up and feel like hey, let me try Instagram again - do it. It is just a fucking app anyway - don't let it dictate your life. HAHAHAHA. 

I am not okay today.
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I woke up this morning feeling negative. Insecurities like sugar ants attracted to spills crept in and I went through thoughts of doubts of where I am, my relationships, my workspace .. almost everything felt like it shouldn't matter or it was not good enough. 

Both of my elder cats came on to my bed as if they notice something was wrong with me or perhaps they just like me stroking their fur and that thought lingered on for a while in my head before I headed to the bathroom. Took the time to wash my face, brush my teeth, placed some cat food and did my make up without looking in the mirror. 

The thoughts in my head then was worrying about the dust on the mirror to how old I am this year. My mind was still occupied from my recent travels as well as the insecurities I have on how I look. Did I not care enough on how I don't apply my makeup / take care of my skin / am I suppose to wear more professional looking clothes to work as that would be my first impression to anyone / is my metabolism slowing down because of my age / why am I so lazy to actually go to the gym even though I am awake at 6 a.m/ why am I only working but not doing anything for a good cause / is my work actually benefitting anyone ... and this goes on until it was time to leave for work as well as in the car on the way to work. 

Now that I have sat down on my desk in an empty room, the only thing I head is the sound from the air-cond. I decided to look through my emails while my heart / brain feels empty.  Then a message bleeped on my phone from my partner who knows about my morning and told me the kindest words of how he will go through everything with me by my side even though I know this is something I need to work on, by myself. My own confidence, my own growth. However, his message was a light to my day and this got me to writing this. 

Even though I feel alone, I am not alone.

Even though I feel pain or lack of confidence, doesn't mean I can't work to strengthen it. 

Even though this might just be a negative that happens once in a blue moon, doesn't mean it should be ignored.

This a post to remind me of this feeling I have and if are ever in the same boat as I am, i think we will be okay.

Products I have laying around in my toilet - Aesop | Grown Alchemist

I like to think I minimize well on purchasing beauty products I don't really need and the great thing about this post is that one of the products, my sister actually bought for me so, WIN.

As you can guess, she bought the Aesop Poo-Poo Drops for me as a birthday gift. She knows me too well.... maybe too well. I feel secure now knowing that when my partner or guests comes in to the toilet after me, they think I am a fckn unicorn shitting rainbows...hahaha!  Another great thing is that you can put the drops anywhere that smells likes trash ( kitchen sink, cat's bed, your bed your partner..)

The Grown Alchemist Hand Cream on the other hand was an amazing buy during one of my visits to the land down under. I think this purchase was from Perth since I did nothing much there besides visiting PRICELINE & David Jones quite often. It smells delicious but not the kind you wanna puke and it is heavenly nourishing. I rubbed it on my partner's dry scab once and magically enough the next few days it was like normal man kind of skin.

So yes, if you need two essentials to fill up your toilet, this two is a must!

Cafe's to visit in Seminyak, Bali 2017.
Kim Soo Bali Cafe

Here is an updated list of cafe's I love to eat in Seminyak, Bali.I have been to Bali since every year since I was 18 ( and in some years, twice) so I like to think you can trust me..haha! I am only recommending the cafes in Seminyak as I usually stay there and only make the occasional visits to Ubud, Kuta ( honestly, I don't like staying or visiting Kuta ), Canggu, and Northern of Bali. I believe everyone has different palates and preferences but do visit the cafe / restaurants listed below especially if it is your first time in Bali.

Kim Soo Cafe Bali 2017
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6. The Secret Cafe ( Nusa Dua )

I know this is suppose to be about Seminyak, but I gotta add this one in as it is only about half hour away from Seminyak. The avocado mash here is to die for. At first I thought, hey why give me so little avocado.. it wont be enough ( Asian mentality I'm afraid ) but guess what? the avocado mash was just the perfect quantity for my toasted bread and it was the most delicious and simple avocado toast. It was the right amount of feta cheese added into the mash.

7. KU DE TA ( restaurant - night )

This was a not to miss restaurant for dinner my every visit. Then I stopped visiting. WHY? The only reason I went there to eat was because they the most delicious miso cod dish ever ( I am a very picky person when it comes to eating ) and they did it to perfection. I didn't mind spending for the dish as it was amazingly good. Then they stopped having it in the menu. LIKE, WHY? Am I the only one loving this COD? I got so upset, I don't bother visiting the restaurant anymore even though all their other dishes for dinner was good. SO UPSET.

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10. Sisterfields - BOSSMAN - Expat Roasters

About 3-4 years ago, before the place got famous, there were no queues and it was very calming. Good for them, this place is usually packed. Food is alright and it great for dinner. They have another store next door called Boss and they sell big burgers which my partner loves..me -not so much. They also have another sister shop called Expat Roasters and the design and feel of the shop is great and I love their banana toast but coffee wash just..meh.

11. MAD POPS

Delicious ice cream but honestly I only ever chose their mint chocolate chip ice cream and it is A - MA- ZING.

Here are a few others I have visited but it was just alright for me and I would maybe visit it again in future. However other people loved it and maybe you will too:

Betelnut Cafe ( Canggu ) / Milk & Madu ( Canggu ) / Cafe Organic / Strawberry Fields / Souq Cafe / The Bistrot / La Favela / The Fat Turtle ( don't eat their pancakes though.. ) / The Dough Darlings / Watercress Bali / BURO Concept Store & Coffee / Shelter Cafe ( above Nalu bowls) .... I think that's it... Haha!

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1. Mamasan

You have to try their crispy duck & wantan soup. So fucking good. Great for lunch and you should NOT miss this spot.

2. The Corner House

Simple yet refreshing. This corner cafe is currently my favorite to begin the holiday with. Try their avocado mash.

3. Sea Circus

Everyone who goes to Bali will visit Sea Circus due to it's colourful exterior. This used to be a personal favourite of mine three years ago but since their refurbishment ( due to lack of seats), the vibe doesn't feel as positive as it used to be. Food is just alright as well so go here especially if it your first time as it is quite Instagram worthy.

4. Nalu Bowls

You would have seen their smoothie bowl on Instagram and again, it used to be really good before the hype. Try it but for me, never again.

5. Kim Soo Cafe

This is a new cafe and I tried it the last trip to Bali and honestly, it was quite good. Partner loves his watermelon salad and me on the other hand love their desserts. I love the shop / cafe concept usually so it was a win-win for me.

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8. Crumbs & Coaster ( KUTA )

Another place not in Seminyak but it is only 20 minutes away by bike. I don't like visiting KUTA cuz of the vibe. Feels like Patong of Thailand to be honest. However partner wanted to try new cafe's and we stumbled upon this cafe and he loves it. The plating was done perfectly and the energy of the cafe feels good.

9. Revolver Boutique Cafe

Only for their coffee and delicious brownie. We usually like to sit outside in the open air area as it is very dark and small inside - usually a little clausterphobic at places like this.

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Do let me know in the comment section or message me if you would like to know more where to visit in Bali. I am more than happy to help.

The thing I love most about my recent trip to Bali was my bikram yoga class at JIWA. It is difficult to find a good person to guide you in YOGA, but damn - this place was perfect.

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If you haven't watched my 1 minute video of Bali - watch it here below :)

Honest Review: The Ordinary Products

I am a marketing person professionally s when a product does no-frills packaging and wording, I am sold. It was time to get real with the ingredients I am slathering on my face as I have been quite unimpressed with many products recently.

I got this off ASOS and it was affordable. I think it might be cheaper than off the counter products. If you don't know what The Ordinary is, do read about it on their website. To me, they offer active ingredients that are usually in all your products but they don't mix it up with other nonsense just to make it "prettier".

I wanted to buy one of their Retinol products but since I was blinded with all their products while adding things to cart on ASOS, guess what? I didn't even purchase the Retinol products I needed. Silly me. I bought six products in total and gave one to my mom ( can't remember the name but it is for pigmentation)

How I chose these products are quite simple. I just followed their regime for anti aging - here.So let's talk about each product that I have been using for the past 3 weeks.

Buffet: Reviews online raves about this shit so I bought it. It is suppose to reduce fine lines and wrinkles as well as fades dark sport and promotes a firm smooth texture.

So what do I think after 3 weeks using it? I see a difference where my dark spots are actually fading away and it actually firms up. Wrinkles... I don't really have much wrinkles to begin with so I can't tell. Definitely a keeper.

Hyaluronic Acid 2%: It is suppose to hydrate my skin but I don't really like using it in the morning as it leaves the face quite sticky. So I usually only use it during the weekend if I plan to stay home and be a sloth. I won't buy it again though because of the way it feels on my skin.

100% Organic Cold-Pressed Rose Hip Seed Oil : I LOVE THIS. I apply it most nights. It is quite oily but it leaves my skin magically soft and bright the next day.I can't see much difference yet on my skin ( the dark spots) but hey, Rome wasn't build in day.

Ascorbyl Tetraisopalmitate Solution 20% in Vitamin F:  ANOTHER FAVOURITE! This Vitamin C solution after applying it my face, it feels like a velvet primer. However I usually use it at night as I feel I have quite a lot of products I used in the morning ( Buffet + Sunscreen from SuperGoop). Definitely will buy this again!

Lactic Acid 5% + HA 2%: I have never tried a peeling formula before however everyone gave a good review about this online and I decided to give it a try. It is definitely stinging at first but it is bearable. It is quite sticky but the next day you can definitely see quite a difference especially if you have dark scars like me. Next round I will try the 10%.

That's all on my review for now! Drop me a message/ comment if you want to know more :)

 

Hello, September 2017
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It is September and I have so many plans so little time. Who knew that when you think your calendar looks pretty empty, out of the blue, your calendar populates by "itself". Just when I thought I will be able to just lie down on my couch, have some McDonalds nuggets and watch Korean drama all day, everyday.

A week more to BALI and I am excited! This time round SAO will be doing the planning of cafe's to go too and I will just sit back and give him directions, lol! I am thinking of doing some basic mindful things like meditation and yoga but I haven't gone round to researching to that yet.

I have been meaning to exercise as well, and the last time I stepped into the gym was 3 months ago. It is always" I will go to the gym tomorrow" and when the time comes my mind will be like " you know what, I deserve to have the rest " FML.

I haven't done my hair, nails, change some money, dentist , check my eyes, contacts... ughhhh the list goes on and this is without including important stuff like work.

Oh right. I went to SEA GAMES as pictured above. I have nothing much to say about it besides I would like to remember that moment when you are just proud of your country. It is a good feeling when everyone is cheering for the same thing.

Oh well, off to cook some tuna pasta.

Nomnomnom.

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